Musings on Marriage and other forms of Torture

Why is it that random strangers, or in my case - clients, seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to ask why I've never been married.    Am I George FREAKIN' Clooney?? Gah

I gave my client my standard smart ass answer,

"No I'm terribly claustrophobic!"

 That usually gets me a laugh and the subject gets dropped. But not this time.


This time my client smart assed right back and said, "I don't think that means what you think it means!"

"Claustrophobia: Fear of small confined spaces. Sounds like marriage to me!"

He laughed and then asked again, "WHY NOT?? WHY HAVE YOU NEVER?? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU LOSER??" Okay maybe I'm projecting on that last bit... but really it's the tone - The tone dammit!

But honestly why do people seem to think that it's weird that I've never been married?? Would I somehow be more successful if I had failed at marriage?

And they really freak out when I tell them that I have no interest in being married.

You'd think that I was Amy Farrah Fowler,

 "I find romantic love to be an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships." 

Oh wait... fuck... maybe I AM Amy Farrah Fowler. Cause seriously... whats the point?

I'm not against committed relationships... I've had a few. I love men... love sex with men. Neither of which required me to be married. Nor was marriage required for me to have and raise an absolutely amazing kid.

I've just never really seen the value of a piece of paper - either you mean it or you don't. Guys that mean it, don't need a piece of paper. Guys that don't mean it won't suddenly be faithful because of a piece of paper. So what's the point?

Which I guess makes me sound a bit cynical. But really I'm not.  I actually have great faith in men - which is why the paper just ever seemed like that big of a deal.

But the real truth is there have always been a dozen other things that seemed more important to me - things that seemed like they'd be a million miles away if I had someone else I had to take into consideration.

When my kid goes off to college I'm going to do the traveling I've always dreamed of, I'm going to be a beach bum for a while, or maybe work on a cruise ship.  Maybe I'll  finally have that acting career I've always wanted.

And the next time a client asks about my marital status I'll just tell him,

"I find MARRIAGE to be an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships"


Which is FUCKING hilarious considering the hours I've spent fighting for my gay friends to have marriage equality... but I guess the point is about giving them the choice... even if it's the choice not to be married.


Then they can field all the questions about why they aren't married. Cause I'm done answering them.