What some people saw as a sudden (uncharacteristic?) whim was in fact a really long journey for me. I first thought about getting a tattoo 20 years ago when a dear friend of mine got a tattoo on his chest. It was something deeply personal and spiritual for him. That started me thinking of a tattoo as something other than a mistake made after a drunken night's high jinks.
About the same time I started my career as a massage therapist, so tattoos became a daily viewing pleasure, so to speak. Saw some really great tats, some really horrible ones, and ones that I knew were the result of the aforementioned drunken night's high jinks.
Somewhere around year 10 of being a massage therapist I decided I wanted a tat. Not a drunken high jinks tat, but a well thought out, deeply personal and spiritual tattoo. So I started thinking about exactly what I wanted. And thinking... And thinking....
10 years later.... STILL THINKING!
Okay the truth is I was one part chicken shit, and one part undecided about what I wanted. If I was going to have something permanently etched into my skin it had to be something memorable. Something I could look at in my 70's and still feel like I made a good decision. So with that in mind I ruled out
- Betty Boop
- A Chinese Character ( who knew what it really said?)
- various quotes
- a mermaid (Okay that one hasn't been totally ruled out - it might be the next one)
About a year ago I ran across a really cool graphic. A butterfly made out of the Cuban flag.
I can't totally explain why, but I liked it immediately. I kept looking at it, coming back to it. I even started to research the meaning of butterflies.
It turns out that butterflies represent transformation, transition and even the soul in some cultures. It represents faith as we make these transformations in our life. Unquestioning faith that we will exit our cocoon of transformation better than we entered it. Faith that things will always work out for the best. That seemed like a perfect analogy for where I am at this point in my life. My daughter is about to leave for college. I'm about to change careers - leaving behind a business I've spent 20 years building. I'm about to hit a huge reset button on my life and the truth is I vacillate between nerve wracking excitement and paralyzing fear. Everything in my life is transforming. I'd love to have some of that butterfly mojo.
I also realized the butterfly meant a lot for me personally; beyond the ascribed meaning. It's this fragile thing of beauty that can migrate 2,500 miles. That's kind of impressive when you think about it. That kind of strength is something I'd love to call forth within myself. They're also cold blooded and cannot survive in the cold, so they migrate to warmer climates - I relate to that!
And the Cuban flag? Well that's been part of my own transformation in life. My "Cuban-ness" (Yeah I made that up!) wasn't something I ever gave a lot of thought to when I was younger or had any appreciation for. But about the time my daughter was born I discovered Buena Vista Social Club. The music spoke to me in a way that moved my soul. I realized I wanted my daughter to know that part of herself. So I began exploring that part of my culture. Over the years it's become more and more a part of my identity. Something that I've become fiercely proud of and a part of myself I want to keep learning about.
So I posted that picture everywhere so I'd see it constantly. I thought maybe I'd get sick of it. But I didn't. Next came the search for the right Tat artist.
That in itself is another story. But suffice it to say that the universe lead me to the most amazing artist and someone I was glad to have part of my journey. He was not only an incredibly talented artist but a truly fascinating person with a lovely spirit. He was exactly the person I would want as part of this spiritual journey. The other person along for the ride was my fabulous supportive daughter, River. I'm sure it crossed her mind that her mother was losing her's. But she never expressed it. She sat right by my side for the entire 2.5 hours it took to do. I'm not gonna lie, there were times it hurt - a lot. But kinda like having a baby - the minute it was done - the pain was totally forgotten. I loved it even more than I thought I would. It was so beautiful I wanted to cry. I couldn't stop looking at it.
It's been 2 and a half months and I still smile every time I look at it. I wonder what it will look like when I'm 70, but I know one thing. I'm still going to love it.
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